so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
