..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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