Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize