i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
