He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
