Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
