no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
