you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
