He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
