You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
