Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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