TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
