I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
