you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
