I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Text me some of your sweat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
