Kiss
Puke
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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