I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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