So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
