if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize