Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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