He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
