He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
