if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize