U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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