Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
what day is it and did you see me today?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize