its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
