He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize