Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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