yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize