Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
