Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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