i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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