You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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