take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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