Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
