just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
