I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
