the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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