If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
