she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
