i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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