she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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