pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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