TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I would fuck him just for his dog
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize