Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
