Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
