just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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