we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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