Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
