He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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