Say something about gay babies.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize