physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize