If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
