So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
