Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I believe in your delicious
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
