Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
