I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i love accidental penises.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
