hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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