I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
soo... how was my night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
