'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
