I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
