Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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